ramblings part two - dun bother

sometimes I think..... I've always felt that I wanna work in the future... wanna support myself in the future.... but is there a part of me in desire for love? in desire for support?

shuyan's dream is to be a tai tai with two kids and two dogs... is that probably my inner desire too? I know I hate to rely on someone... but why am I thinking that I might want that too? am I too lazy... to tired to pursue a career? just wanna lay back and enjoy life? I wanna go travelling... see the world, live life like I dun need to bother about anything and do whatever I like... wishful thinking that is... there's always a money factor... I dun wanna grow up... i dun wanna go into the working world... I wanna remain under the protection of my parents... selfish thoughts that shldn't even be harboured.

what am I driving at? haha I dunno... maybe because valentine's on the way... maybe I'm watching too many love dramas... a part of the heart is in need for some warm mist to blow into... Happy Valentines' Day.