ultra apologies to Clare!! sorry dear!! I totally forgot about the dental appointment this evening!! We meet next week okie??? sorry sorry!!! *hugz*

hello hello!! back in the light after a whole 2 hours of blackout!!!!! Electricity is DAMN important man... (a fact that I have been taking for granted for) argh... my com, my aircon, my lights, my hot water bath... all of these luxuries disappeared with a "poof" 2 hours ago. and there's almost NOTHING I can do candle light lighting my place except listening to the radio on my sis's HP and playing with candle wax... =P

and... all of a sudden, all sorts of nicknames appeared for me!! Janise calls me "Puriko aka Prissy" on her blog and dear Clare... "Pris the takuya mad woman" sigh...

actually Janise... I kinda don't want everyone to know which "Pris" am I... that's the point of using Puriko as a screen name... so, you mind?? just use Puriko on your blog if you wanna link me?? This blog is kinda personal (though not THAT personal) I want only the people who I want to read this blog to read it and know who I am. All the other people can read this blog without knowing who I am if they find me interesting enough.

sigh... somehow I feel that all my efforts to remain as "Puriko" is furtile...

I've decided to climb out of my hermit shell and go for the NUS Japanese Studies Society Camp scheduled on 5-7 July... anybody else interested? go sign up at http://www.jss.org.sg this is the only camp I think I'll go... so if you wanna go for the same camp as me... go to this one!! *bhb(-_-''')* AND... it's only 19 bucks!! the cheapest I've heard of so far.

sign... I'll make a lousy salesperson as compared to the mister who called me up just now talking to me for a whole 20 min trying to convince me to go for the camp when I don't know him AT ALL. The best thing's yet to come... he spoke for 90% of the conversation with "en", "okie..." and "hmm" from me only. I thought I like to crap.

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY SHUYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May year to come be one filled with love, joy and fun.
May you grow more wit as you grow older, find that person in your life soon who will love you with all his heart, be happy and successful in whatever you do and grow closer and closer to god as the days pass.

I remember xiaoting asking me before something to the effect of, "do you feel any hatred or resentment towards NUS for not giving you medicine?" Recieved the same question from a few others too... maybe some of you reading this blog have the same queries but never came to the point of asking me...

My answer is no. Well, yes, I've heard all the rumors about the inner workings of the medicine faculty in chooisng people etc... how some of my dear friends think that I should get in etc... But well, I was given an interview. I was given a fair chance (or so it seems and I will take it that it is fair...) as everyone else. And I was rejected. Fair and square. What else can I say? No resentment. Just pure disappointment in myself. The only blame is on me. I could have gotten 4 As, I could have scored an A for my CCA, could have written better for the essay, performed better for the interview... isn't that all about me? So, no one to blame. This is how I performed and I've got my results. I have to accept it.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I'll give up my dreams my dear friends. It's probably a blessing in disguise for me... for me, at 19, I still do not know exactly whether medicine is for me. I just feel that it's something that I will like to do. But if 4 years later, after I graduate, I still want to do it, I believe that it does mean something. By doing bioengin, I'll be still keeping that option of graduate medicine open. If I still want to do med, I'll do it in the end. I just have to make sure that I do well in bioengin and get a first class honours. So, pals, wish me luck and courage to move on yarz?

Peace.

I think I'm on crossroad of my life... it has been a while (since the time when we have to put in our JAE choices for JC) since I feel like that... but this time, the crossroad is a greater (?!) one... it's time I move into a dorection in my life... a direction that will in a way decide my life (at least for the next few years to come)...

Reading a book called "The Alchemist" now... it's talking about how people are borned with a destiny to fulfill in their lives. How some people will work their way to it while many others gave up pursuing. And, it talked about how some people, despite knowing their destiny has chosen to go another way, probably in seek of a more stable lifestyle, probably in fear of losing their sense direction once their destinies (or dreams) are fulfilled...

still reading the book, but somehow, I feel that I am seeking for some answer from the book, some direction, some strength, some faith... something. something I hope the book will tell me, something that I know the book will tell me to look in my heart for.

ok, think I can see the puzzled faces in front of the com now. but you see, while some people live with not knowing the meaning of their life, others try to seek that meaning all their lives... and for me, I want to be in the latter group of people. not trying very hard to find it, but just not give up looking for it, and someday, I believe I will find it.

Haha... Clare... it's ADDICTION!! *grinz*

Went to the dentist to fix my two front tooth today... I have 4 cavities on my three front tooth altogether!! HUH??!! (-_-''') the dentist (as my medicine interviewer kindly reminded me) dental surgeon, fixed two today and is gonna fix another two next week... one of my cavities was so deep that it was actually affecting my nerves! *sensitive as he puts it...* so, he injected me with some anesthetics and now my upper lip's literally immobile. ARGH... you never realise how important your lips are until you can't move them!!

ok, fair enough.... I think the dentist is pretty skilled and actually very nice.

Have I told you that Mr. Kimura Takuya is so cute?? hahahahaha *still going gaga*

YOU magazine, this is a serious warning for you to get your homework done before writing inaccurate reports about Takuya...

anybody with eyes can see from the photos that he does NOT wear platforms!! *what the...* Nakata Hidetoshi said before that Takuya is about his height so he takes alot of second hand clothings from Takuya. and Nakata is 175 from the bio on his website. Nakata doesn't need to lie about his height right???

and, NOBODY said that Takuya's the leading actor in 2046! He had a supporting role in that movie!! and please... the 7 minutes screen time is actually pretty good for takuya already... fans are actually worried that he will get a fleeing scene in that movie only!!

and about the fact that he has a long body and short legs... this is Takuya's response when someone wrote into his radio programme to scold him for having short legs: "Gomen ne~ ore, nihonjin dakara" (sorry, because I'm a Japanese - said in a cute and almost joking manner) so, what's the big deal??? so what if he has short legs?? and... I'll still like him even if he is 160.

I'm seriously considering writing in that magazine... this is NOT the first time they claim Takuya's height to be 163... (-_-''') and that about him wearing platforms... I can sue you for that!! He's 176. (or at least near that...)

oh!! I forgot!! Nat, Clare... The Mystery of Time and Space updated!! (you can see how FREE I am not working... I'm actually playing this darn game for the third time!!)

met up with my jc classmates today for lunch and tea... it's great to meet them again...
very often, I felt that the two years in JC is like a vacuum period of my life. it's almost like, ...my life came to a pause the day I stepped into JC and started again when I finished my A levels and said good bye to the place of green black and white. why? maybe because the two years had been SO fast... it's always a rush from one place to another, one common test after another, one activity after another... there's orientation, then a busy frenzy trying to catch up to what those jc lecturers are talking about, then Orientation 2 (which I spent in the library...) then common test, then cca ex-co interviews, CO practices, rushing to complete the design for outlook magazine, CO concerts, volunteer work at AH, common test after common test, promos, SYF, Jap AO paper, S paper sessions, SAT, chingay, more outlook magazine design... blah blah blah... every day in JC was busy busy busy... mug mug mug... work work work... probably because I never sat down during these two years to look back at my life in JC. that why it never dawned upon me that I had actually led a very exciting JC life. the long talk and chit-chat today reminded me of those days when I was donning the white and green uniform... so those two years are actually quite solid! haha... (^-^)
0k, just felt like writing something today... nothing very interesting though. (>.<) hope you like my new layout! ^^

I'm 19 today... *thinking*

Actually, I don't feel any different...

woke up in the morning recieving emails and smses of "Happy Birthday!!" made me very touched. I always think that the best present one can recieve on her birthday is that of people remembering that this day is special to you. maybe because to me, 'presence' is a very important thing. ^^ Thank you to all my darlings for your birthday messages.

Today is also the birthday of Ella from S.H.E and Nicole Kidman if I'm not wrong. Happy Birthday!! haha

ok, the reason why I blog today... I realised that Takuya is a GREAT cartoonist! haha... he DREW the logo for his drama's hockey team! the team's called blue scorpions and he drew their mascot!! take a look...



note: this picture is cropped from PRIDE's official wallpaper available on Fuji Television's website.

driving lesson in another 2 hrs!! I'm actually quite excited about it!! the exhilaration when the car started moving under MY command!! haha... okie, overuse of exclaimation marks, but this is FUN!!!!

oh... btw... min! why does your blog stand at "Fantasticaaly Fantasia" for the last 2 weeks? just wondering...

Had my first driving lesson today... to be honest, I don't see myself as a driver!! (-_-'') having me on the roads might be the most dangerous thing to happen EVER...

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is really good. READ it.

I have 3 decays on my two front tooth!! *all I want for christmas is my two front tooth (without decay)* argh!!

something's making me feel very uncomfortable: been surfing the net for takuya's stuff today (I AM BORED) and guess what?! My blog (this blog) is turning up as one of the search results!!
hmm...

People like me are praying that some miracle can happen so that I get into med... and there's people who gave up med to do bioengin... *got smacked on the face (me)*

WHY?????????????!!!!!!!

I've been slipping in and out of depression, never knew that I am such a vulnerable person: this is pathetic.

thanks dears for all you encouragement, but i guess i am the only one who can help myself to get out of this state. give me some time okie? I need a miracle.

time to pick myself up and move on: it's not easy... but you have to do it.

I've been screwing up my life like I dunno what... sent an email to change my acceptance to chemical engineering... then another to take back and do bioengin again. pissed my parents off like dunno what... sigh... I really do not know if I am doing the right thing... this is screwed

I just accepted the bioengineering course in NUS... feeling very screwed now...... PLEASE let me make the right choice... at most, get stuck in the labs for the rest of my life...

sorry yiling and clare dears... that post was made in jap because I only want shuyan to read it... forgive me yarz? *hugz* I still love ya both... but I only want shuyan to read that... ^^

to shuyan dear... thanks.

saikin, jibun ga jibun wo kirai ni nachattan da. ima made, watashi no 18sai no jisei wa, ittai, nanni? nanni yattan no? ima... ima made yaritai koto ha, yarenai de... yume mo nakunachatte... jibun no jisei wa, honto ni, mecha mecha ni narinashita. jibun no nihongo ha sonna ni hettai no ni, nihongo dake de, kakemasu. sono you na kimochi ha, sono blog wo miru aru hitotachi ni, wataritakunai desu. kanashi sugiru dakara.

dareka, tasukette kure!! saikin, namida ha, watashi no ii tomodachi ni narimashita. nande, jibun wa sonna ni shippai nandesuka?