Out of Control

My non-existance self-esteem is getting the better of me.
I need to get a grip of myself else I risk losing my pride.
The world is afterall a mirror.
What you portray outward comes back to you and that's how people will deal with you.
We live in a shallow world afterall.
Damn.

quit

I want to quit my phd program....
but I think I still like research....
but apart from the research I think I am working on, everything else is crap....
I hate my life, and I hate the person I am becoming.
I don't like to be thought as though I am stealing someone else's work.
I feel that that is my work...
I dislike my current condition and I don't know what to do about it.
I want to quit and go to bed to sleep.

良くないです

在看smap的professional的节目，
小孩子问了一个问题，说smap里谁是最年轻的，
他猜某拓是最年轻的，大概21岁。nakai…… 40岁！
笑死我了~
突然……好想念我日本的学生哦～～～
现在的生活一直笼罩在负面思想里，
对自己未来一点憧憬都没有的日子真的快过不下去了。