this is wierd... i can enter my blog but i carn view it...................... BLOGGER!! help!

looking back at the past few days events... i dun even know what I've done!! sorry ting dear... but truthfully, i think I didn't REALLY wanted to quit.. in a sense.. (though happy that I did) but the idea of quitting after three days is NOT good... how can I be like that?! I dunno...
screwed up BIG time... nothing else to say... this blog is getting too personal that I'm a little worried... whatever
ok... recalling what happened on Thursday... woke up feeling rotten that I have to do the report by Friday... (2 Jan is the due date that I was given for first review)... started looking for the darn 50 companies that are big advertisers in China and big events that'll need advertising in China, Beijing... carn find any companies based in Beijing... felt stupid that I am typing in the names of the companies one by one in Yahoo China only to find out that they are not based in Beijing, got all crapped out by the whole thing... blaming the chinese government for not listing their events in a year clearly on the website... feel like I'm being taken advantaged of to do something that I carn do... feeling lost and helpless 'cause I dun know where to start looking at.... sick at the idea that it's a holiday and I'm working
then started throwing my temper... told mum that I quit... things blew up... finished whatever I could and wanted to hand it in IMMEDIATELY and quit... small aunt came and give me a lecture and prep talk about how it's normal to have stress, how everyone hates their work (sad world isn't it?)... about how they are too busy to find such information and need me to look for them... then it's confirmed that I quit. Big aunt (cum boss) called mum... had a long talk while I was getting all out of control in my room... crying the worst I've did in four years... and I'm free of the job.
freak right??? have you seen something SO out of control??? I must really learn how to control my temper... something that I thought I have managed well in the past two years... now... it's back to square one. FREAK.

Lessons Learnt:
1) Look for a job that you like (or think you like) - at least that's easier to start with
2) Dun have the i-have-a-project-and-I-must-do-it-perfectly kinda attitue when you are working (you'll die of stress)
3) accept that there are things that you can't do and come to terms with it. ASK when need help
4) work is tough. accept it
5) control your temper and well on the fundalmental note: you need to be hypocritical at times
6) I really hate my aunt's work place. argh! dun ask me why... i just DUN LIKE it!
7) It's ok to fall at times

ok... people... I'm fine... have to accept my flaws... haha
I know I'm a spoiled brat larz... accept it manz! this is ME! as all of you may have reallised now... I'm capable of drastic emotions... Clare was saying that I seem to be so calm most of the time! haha... this is one time when my emotions take over... am thinking about it... should I cointinue to let my emotions take over and be ME? or should I learnt to strenghten the wall that I've built over the years to protect myself better and... well... seem always calm and cool in front of people? I have my flaws that only a few pple know... (i think) I dunno... think I'm good at hiding them... should I? but you know what? I'm such a hypocrite that it's almost innate in my nature to hide it!! really~ haha, whatever, it's so hard to be true to myself manz... - have I told you that this is the reason why I like Takuya? 'cause he's HIMSELF. I mean it.

okok... exposed enough of myself liaoz... hidding back to my own shell again. cya pple!