I find something very disturbing recently....
I'm watching AND enjoying this particular korean drama on scv (18 sui xin niang).... and I thought that korean dramas are cliche~ okie... they still are... but I'm actually really enjoying this one. Very much... because it's plain funny and enjoyable. I mean.. even though I can probably tell you what will happen in the next 10 episode or even the ending, I really am enjoying this drama!!!!! (-_-''')

Some one wrote to Takuya on his radio programme about his mum liking the korean actor, Bae Yong Jun... the listener wrote, My mum like Bae now... before that, her number one is you, Takuya. The reason for the change in mind.... because you guys (smap) has not produced a single/album since 2003!! hmm... the first thought that came to mind was that the girl who wrote in must have been waiting very hard for SMAP's new album/single... tell me which fan isn't... then, in the forums they started talking about how Takuya seem bothered by this popularity thing... I've always thought that he will not be affected since he's been in this game for more than 10 years. Oh well... once again he has proven to me that he's human with manly feelings and jealousy. (and I like him for that... ^^)

But some of the fans feel... as long as he's that special only one and do his best in whatever he does, it's okie... conflicting ideas actually... think about it: why work hard if you don't want to be number one? but yet... being number one should not be your only focus... it's also more important to that special you... so, now what?! -- don't care about rankings and competitions and be you? probably risk being left behind by this ever progressing society? or get yourself lost in the search for fame, rank and power?

I think I've been trying to be that special one.... but I'll be lying if I tell you I'm not bothered by rankings... becasue... it decides so many things, I really don't like myself being like that... but I'm no monk, no sister who can live out of this society's expectations of me, of a person... (no offense)

sigh... okie, no more time for reflection.... time to talk to sitong and meli...

Meli, if you're reading this... wanna give ya a HUG. waiting for you to come back on 20 dec!!