Happy New Year!

Happy 2013!!!! May the new year be a progressive and fruitful one (e.g. when I graduate from my PhD program). Hope you have a good year ahead too!!!! Cheers!!

Out of Control

My non-existance self-esteem is getting the better of me.
I need to get a grip of myself else I risk losing my pride.
The world is afterall a mirror.
What you portray outward comes back to you and that's how people will deal with you.
We live in a shallow world afterall.
Damn.

quit

I want to quit my phd program....
but I think I still like research....
but apart from the research I think I am working on, everything else is crap....
I hate my life, and I hate the person I am becoming.
I don't like to be thought as though I am stealing someone else's work.
I feel that that is my work...
I dislike my current condition and I don't know what to do about it.
I want to quit and go to bed to sleep.

良くないです

在看smap的professional的节目，
小孩子问了一个问题，说smap里谁是最年轻的，
他猜某拓是最年轻的，大概21岁。nakai…… 40岁！
笑死我了~
突然……好想念我日本的学生哦～～～
现在的生活一直笼罩在负面思想里，
对自己未来一点憧憬都没有的日子真的快过不下去了。

负面情绪是会传染的

真的很不喜欢常常被周围的人影响情绪的自己。
更不喜欢每次因为一些负面情绪而变得不开心的自己。
我也喜欢自己的笑容啊~ 可是失去的微笑从哪里开始找起呢？

工作

有时候真的很想把一切都放下，
然后找个心里很想做，梦想做的工作，
什么都不考虑，活在当下。

最近读了一篇文章，
说那些放弃正值，
去找寻梦想的人，
往往到了最后都搞得比原来的工作忙碌，
搞得连喜欢的东西都变得不喜欢了。
的确，放下一切去当导游吗？
其实我觉得我会在几年后因为工作的繁琐和重复而对这个梦想中的工作觉得疲倦。
当翻译吗？
我觉得我会因为把兴趣变成工作而讨厌起曾经很喜欢的语言。

一个好朋友最近跟我说：
工作呢，还是找个能给你推动力的，有挑战性的。
喜欢的东西还是当兴趣好了。

想想~ 我还是乖乖当我的书呆子，
有空的时候，请个长假到处去溜达溜达就好了~

追星

今年3月的时候去看了JJ的演唱会~ 为了老萧而去的。之后疯狂地一起追到了他们庆功会的地方。
看着敬腾像动物园里头的小动物般围观，拍照，要high five……
我突然觉得当明星好可怜。
如果是自己在他的位子，会非常不舒服吧？！
以后决定不要再做这样的事情了。
演唱会，签名会，乖乖地排队，
乖乖地在他愿意被人看到的时候看他就好了。

competitiveness

I don't know if it's just me, but it feels like the world around me now is hihgly competitive. For some reason, people want to prove that they are better than others, in terms of skills, knowledge or other unsubstantial issues. To constantly feel compared or stupid is not nice at all.... and I really don't like myself for always wanna stay above the tide. The competitiveness inside me doesn't allow me to fail... but really, what does being no. 1 mean?

the relatives

How thick exactly is blood? Some times, some people assume you HAVE TO help them because you are related by blood. Even though your personal beliefs and values are miles apart and if unrelated by blood, we would never be friends. Then there are people who will assume you need help or that you are the weaker side. Along with these, comes pity and even despise. I totally understand when sis says she feels that it's necessary to stand on her own. Taking a favor will mean owing someone forever. And favors are harder to repay than monetary items.

I know most in the world will say that family ties is a precious being and one should learn to cherish it. My personal experience however taught me that most of the time, they are a burden. The only difference is whether you decide to soak it up or not. 

4 years

Dear starlight,

It's been 4 years... Just wanna let you know that we have not forgotten about you.

With love,

Ale~

updates

http://www.google.com/crisisresponse/japanquake2011.html

If you can~ do a little for those in need. The world needs more love, and it's so easy... just a click, a few types on the keyboard and you're done.

正确的人生观

与其说是正确的，不如说是正面的。
今天不批评别人，先反省自己。
我承认我是一个相当悲观的人，
对人，事，物，其实都会以最坏为标准。
这样的人生观，
其实对自己也好，对他人也好，
都是不利的。
负面的情绪是会传染的。
正面的情绪也会……
所以，
做人开心点，
对人宽恕点，
对自己有自信点。
把正面的能量传播出去吧！

坚强

看着任爸爸的辛苦，勇气与坚强……
突然觉得自己不努力生活，努力呼吸，努力爱身边的人，事，物，
太奢侈了。太……不应该了。
一觉起来后，我希望自己不要忘了现在的念头，
而是把任爸爸的勇气与坚强学起来。

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/video/video.php?v=1818051134423&comments

自闭

也只有这里，
可以让我肆无忌惮地把心里的话说出来了。
毕竟这样扭曲的性格，
如果展露出来，
还是不太好吧。

在光鲜亮丽的外表下，
其实有个空虚，渴望的灵魂。

New Year... New Life

糜烂，得过且过的生活过了一年，
新的一年可要打起精神，
认真，努力地过生活哦！！！

YOSHI!!!

about life

I need to learn to be more happy about the world around me. Learn to be more appreciative and less critical about people and things happening around me. The world is still beautiful afterall...

MCP

The male ego needs to be deflated or be kicked in the ass. It's the 21st century and males should and MUST realise that the opposite sex is not the lower gender. We rule half and world and the fact that we are not driven by both testosterone and adrenaline rushes, we are actually capable of making sound and rational decisions on our own. ROARRRRRRRRR

Happy Birthday

dear Starlight~~~~~

Grumble...

If your aim of doing a postgraduate degree is to waste time and somehow get a degree at the end of it... maybe you should reconsider your decision. And for those who refuse to learn a foreign language when you are overseas... why not not leaving your country at all? When in Rome, do it the Romans way. I'm sick of seeing a class of foreigners who don't seem to earn too much rights to be here.

Also, I think I said this before, I am not a tree... I can't support an entire habitat... I am neither noble, nor capable.

I know that we should be patient to people and it pays to be nice to people... but I think this only applies to deserving people. Nature plays such that only the fittest survives.

socially inapt

that's me... (>.<)